Once in a while awful anxiety overwhelms my mind badly and changes the easy-going optimistic girl to the biggest drama queen in the world. Of course it doesn’t come from nowhere. But I am usually good dealing with little things. Even with some big things, still keeping my mind straight. But it has to be only few of them at a time. Because when they build up and the boundaries are exceeded I just can’t control myself. I would burst out. I would cry and shout and give some people very hard time. Thankfully it happens only once in a blue moon, otherwise I probably wouldn’t be married anymore.
Yesterday I couldn’t concentrate on anything and couldn’t think straight. And even though things are unfortunately not better and the sadness and bad conscience from being so far from home are still here, at least I have clearer mind today. I think saying things out loud (in my case writing them down) helped my mind a little bit. But as I needed to share those feelings yesterday, I can’t do it today. They are just too deep and too personal at this moment.
Unfortunately not many positive vibes here today. I got very sad news from home this morning. Finding out that my beloved grandma’s health condition is not good at all. It left me unable to concentrate on anything the whole day. I tried to cook and I tried to write. And I spend as much time in the nature as possible. Do the things I like, just to occupy my mind.
I woke up at 6:45 this morning. Without an alarm. And feeling refreshed! Please, please Whole30, let’s just keep it this way. Because it almost felt like being back in Thailand. Where I woke up by myself before seven everyday. Owing to the fact that I was beyond excited about the adventure ahead and couldn’t wait to try all the new things and of course all the new foods. We honestly didn’t waste any single day on that trip. I should really implement this mindset to my everyday life.
I feel pretty good today. I have a great mood. And finally heaps of energy. But of course there has to be something to spoil the greatness. When I’m finally winning over the fatigue, there has to be something else. Changing things from bloody amazing to just good. And that something is a pain in the neck. Literally. Half of my body being stiff and paralyzed by pain. From my neck. Because my new pillow sucks.
Day 15! Which means half way through the Whole30! This is probably the longest I stuck with a “diet” in my life. I know, I know, Whole30 shouldn’t be called diet. It’s a program. Program which should help you to find which food works for you and which doesn’t. It should help you to maintain a better health. But it’s based on food, so it’s quite easy to call it a diet. Right? But for the first time in my life I feel quite good while being on a diet. Especially because I’m not constantly starving. I am (except few occasions) nicely peckish before meals, but not passing out of hunger. And it’s because for the first time in my life I’m following a diet which is consisting of whole foods and which actually encourages you to eat as much (good) food as you need to get full.
So, is it possible to get hangover from Kombucha? Because that’s exactly how I feel today. Dizzy, tired and light-headed, like if I had a little too many drinks. Which I didn’t obviously. Whole30 still on. But feeling all festive last night I knocked off three little bottles of Kombucha. And then had quite a difficult morning today. Well, maybe going to bed at 1 am didn’t help. I should do something about that. But still. I think if I’ll finish this Whole30 I will get drunk after few sips of wine. Now back to water and tea. Well, maybe a bit of Kombucha next weekend. It’s still nice to have the weekends spiced up a bit.
Sometimes life is so much easier and nicer when there is someone special to share it with you. Someone who is there supporting you and your silly ideas. And especially when that someone unexpectedly comes home with two beautiful Pandora charms…
Nothing really interesting happened today. I am tired, hungry and mostly bored. I can’t think about anything else than gluten. How much I would love to have some avocado beautifully arranged on a piece of freshly baked crispy sourdough bread. Probably skipping the avocado. I feel like bread. And cakes. Actually the paleo versions without the gluten would be as good now. Very good. Just any kind of pastry.
If you are someone who is actually reading this Whole30 journey frequently (thank you), you could notice that last night I was incapable to post my daily summary due to an awful migraine which came from nowhere and set me up for 12 straight hours in bed. Not that there were no signs of headache coming, but this was something I didn’t experience for years. Half way through the dinner (that I was so proud of) I had to leave the table and lie down. Immeasurably sick, unable to even take my clothes off, hoping to fall asleep as soon as possible. Thankfully I did and I’m feeling much better today. Not 100% yet, but definitely not like if someone is trying to crush my head with a huge stone while punching me in my stomach continuously.